So..!

Dah masuk 2nd December. 29 days to a new year. My only son will enter primary school. Eldest kakak will be in primary four, second daughter in primary two. Come Jan 15th, Khaira turns one.

People say time flies, I say it jets away these days.

It's half hour past midnight now. Soon, the girls will start their mengaji classes and Umar continues with kindy till mid month. They're super excited to seeing friends again. Bagus jugak, drpd duduk langut kat rumah. 

And while they r in school, I have an appointment with the gynae and all I can say right now, I hope all is fine.

Selamat malam...

Rindu and the truth

This is really how I feel...

When u ask me how i'm doing, terkelu lidah nak balas "i'm okay..." Coz the truth is, I am not. 

And I can not help u feel better by saying "i'm okay", coz really, I am not.

Being strong is hard and it gets tiring.

Losing a child is the worst experience ever.

I miss u my child. 

One week milestone

Habis dah antibiotics. 
Time flies...

AlFatihah dear child

"Kesian baby Mummy"

Allah pinjamkan dia for almost 4 months ikut mummy ke mana2, to work, to events, interviews, redah jam, masuk meeting, lepek tengok Mr Arrogant...

Baby was confirmed without heartbeat on my birthday. I was devastated then. And semalam selesai sudah proses forced labour, melahirkan dgn penuh drama (didnt even make it to the labour room), dnc di bawah paras sedar (love and hate u ubat bius!)... Dan lepas Asar and just before the rain, suami selamat kebumikan our lifeless child whose sex cant be determined coz he/she was too small.

Alhamdulillah for suami, mama, papa, sisters, family and friends who were always there supporting me.

Love you so much my child. Doakan Mummy and Daddy dapat berjumpa denganmu di Jannah. Amin.

Of children and medals

Something of a continuation from the last post. Something to do about my "protectiveness" over my children. Mak lah katakan.

I have listened to so much not-so-nice stuff about being pregnant/having children (more than 3 that is) etc. ayat2 mcm "suburnya depa tu..." bunyi spt positif tapi nadanya ada kala berbau sindir. All these taken with a pinch of salt but tidaklah menyakitkan hati, jika dibandingkan dgn satu peristiwa yg cukup mengguris perasaan.

I realize in the past week, ada org boleh cakap sesuatu yg hmmmm... How do we categorize this? To me agak kejam. Apatah lagi dtg dari yg ada pertalian darah. 

Berbangga dengan pencapaian anak memang sesuatu yg lumrah bagi mereka bergelar parents. Kita pun tumpang happy... Why not. Such inspiration! But there is a huge difference between bragging/show off to spite a person and talking like a proud parent. You can surely tell. 

I tumpang bangga your kid collects so much medals that you have to find boxes to keep them. Tapi perlu ke bersindir seakan2 org lain tak mampu hasilkan anak berkualiti? Motip??

But I am more proud that I have four gold medals given by Allah, tak perlu nak risau depa berhabuk pun. And every single day they have shown me so many achievements that I wont be able to write or tell others about because saya tak larat nak tulis lah!

For all that, saya amat bersyukur. Alhamdulillah...

Insyaallah another gold medal in april 2014. Woohoooo!

That I think is funny...

Ceritanya begini...

My nenek has 13 children. I have three siblings. My father is the youngest child of five. My tok ngah has 8 kids. A cousin of mine has five children. The other raised four. I have an aunt who's got four kids.

I am pregnant with my fifth. Reactions I get so far: "you are WHAT?!" "Alhamdulillah" "Tahniah" "Bukan baru dapat baby ke?" "Are you crazy?"

Which are the ones that amuses me?

Needless to say, I'm very protective/defensive over this one.

And I have so much love to give to each of my child. Syukur dgn kurniaan ini.

Rindu Kat Raya, Ngada Tak?

Bila raya kelima dah kena kerja, memang rasa "gilalah, that has got to be the shortest raya ever!" Well, memang pun coz third raya, orang masih sibuk beraya here and there, we were already on our way home from Tganu. Kononnya nak chill jek on the way home, no rush kan, hamik ko, 12 jam dalam kereta! The jam came towards the end of the journey, at Genting Sempah area. It wasnt too bad, but we were an hour behind our estimated time of arrival.

And Sunday, bosan kat rumah. Could have gone to my parents' place but they were still in Johor, ikut my BIL's family beraya. Boleh lah macam tu kan? Besides, Khaira kena flu so it was all for her recovery. And melayan dia memerap dengan kita.

Di Terengganu
Proud to say, we visited almost 20 houses in two days. But we didn't have to drive to all of them, half of it memang menapak cuma saja. Rumah maksu, sebelah jek. Rumah abg Long, belakang jek, rumah Makcik sebelah rumah maksu, and sebelahnya rumah Mak Teh. I think, by the time we were at Mak Teh's house, the kids were already asking when are we going home. Belasah kang! Dah ler pergi each house less than half hour jek pun, lagi mau merungut ka? Duit raya orang bagi amik plak kan? After dah cover the 'neighbours' we went to cousins house plak, ni kena drive la skit but still in one kampung. Truthfully, the houses I went to are familiar (berdasarkan raya lampau) tapi siapa nama tuan rumah, ampun sesangat, tak masuk dalam kepala. Depa ni tabiat jenis "jom gi rumah Na" takpun, "tu rumah Ja" or "Gi rumah Nah." Na and Nah... rasa2 tak confuse ke ni orang sama ke orang lain? I have two sister in laws yang dipanggil Mah. And everytime abg ajis sebut, i will go which Kak Mah? So kenalah label Mah Pasir Putih, Mah Beranang. And I am Da. Do you know berapa ramai 'Da' kat area tu? Maka saya pun jadilah 'Da menantu Mok Ngoh' or 'Da bini Jeh' dengan harapan I am famous enough to be remembered la kan hehehehe...

One of the nieces, panggil Yu. Bertahun-tahun lamanya I assume nama dia Ayu. Rupa2nya NURUL wehhh! hehehehee... Ti plak is Izzati, bukan Yati ya... Luckily lah my kids tak dishortformkan jadi Ya, Fa, Mmar... Ada gak mak sendiri pun tak kenal. "Ya mana?" "Weh, anak mung sendirik mung dok kenaaaaal?" Mampos!

Another reason why I truly enjoyed Raya di Terengganu is the FOOD. My sister in laws cooked tak banyak tapi apa yang ada tu, sangat sedap. My personal favourite is the kuah kacang berayam. Yes, kuah kacang ada isi ayam. Memula dengar I was like, eek, apakah? Tapi bila dah masuk mulut, siang malam kot hadap the same thing. Sedap gilos. Makacih lah Kak Mah Pasir Putih untuk air tanganmu itu. Nasi minyak rumah Makcik was awesome. Mi kari at one of azis's cousins also sodap coz ada sambal kerang. Itu lauk pauk raya... We stopped at my bestie's house in Kuantan and she made baked pasta pun sodap!! Alhamdulillah utk nikmat kesedapan tak terhingga.

Dah Balik KL Ni...
Masuk opis I sorang jek kat editorial mag ni. Ingatkan ada lagi sorang. Server lak tak disangka2 down plak. Ngangaism lah kejap. Bila team IT dah baiki siap thousand apologies bagai, terus ketuk cover story. Bersemangat semacam. Tak sedar dah satu lebih. Perut mula menjerit "makan lah weyy!" (napa bulan puasa okay jek berpuasa, sebab dah niat kot). Menonong ke kedai sama untuk mendapatkan.... Ayam Paprikkkkkk! Sedapnya makannnnn!

Ok dah merapu. And oh, Happy Birthday Iqbal Umar. He's finally SIX years old. Sepanjang tahun cakap he's six padahal masih five. I am taking leave tomorrow to celebrate with tok Mama and Baba.

Toodles!

Mudik Lebaran 2013

Kami balik Terengganu. Mmg sudah perjanjian since kahwin, dua tahun sekali for raya is turn family Daddy. Bagus gak kids leh experience suasana berbeza aka kampung from their Dad's side. Raya dgn my parents mmg bandar abis. Ni barulah dpt tgok ayam itik bagai and ehem, merasa pasir masuk kasut. And I think Ulfa was a bit traumatised when she saw with her own eyes mcm mana ayam kena sembelih. Dah la Daddy lak tukang pegang. We had to explain that's just how things work. Selama ni tau ngap je kan...

And this time we are staying in Sofea homestay in Kg Atas Tol. For a homestay, I give it 4.5 stars for cleanliness, location and amenities. Memang selesa! 3 rooms n two baths. Airconds in hall and master. Kitchen pun quite complete. Got iron and ironing board annndddd a HUGE washing machine! Kalau tau mmg I dont need to pack so much. Recycle jek tshirts and jeans all.

And it's the last day of Ramadhan. Melancholic skit. 

And I have a huge news to share. I shall do it when the time is right. For now, nak enjoy Ganu wehhhhh!

Super Sunday Blues

Do you know what it takes to get me writing here? Rasa cemburu. Jealous sbb a friend rajin her blog. Bukan panjang lebar pun, but she does it. Me? Lupa. Takde idea. Lupa. Malas pun kdg2 ya gak. Lupa. Sindrom lepas beranak? Maybe. Lantak.

Today, worst day for a Sunday (why cant I just say the worst Sunday), coz we cant do any outdoor activites (mcm la buat pun). Haze yg sangat sangat sangat teruk. I live in a hilly (such word?) area, with lots of trees, pencemaran too dahsyat lah. And we do get kabus here okay. None of that now. I hope the jerebu berambus soon. We hate you. We dont need you. And yes, we are now dgn padan-mukanya is reminded to take better care of our environment. Noted. 

So we are now in a state of emergency. Well, atleast the kids dont have to go to school. We parents still have to tempuh the haze tomorrow. Good luck to us!

And oh, even Mr Cat is not allowed outside. 

So here's to a better week ahead. Amin.

A Quick Update

I'm back at work, third week actually. First day masuk jek terus check leave balance last year. Tengok ada 3.5 days, so sudah dihabiskan within two weeks coz that has to go before end of March. And it was perfect timing too coz we had a kenduri aqiqah, cukur jambul and birthday party for Khaira and Umaira. And also doa selamat as housewarming. That was last weekend.

Khaira is doing great. All this while I thought she's yabam enough, but during the kenduri I was so terkejut campur jealous tengok keyabaman (such word, I made that up) their babies. They're like super yabam! Gerammmmmmm...!


 
Inilahnya princess Daddy. Growing up so fast. And now dah dibotakkan pun. So I call her budak botak coz I like to tease, and the best part is she doesnt mind one bit! Hehe...
 
Okay....Back to work!

Introducing...

The latest edition to Azis and Anida household... Khaira Uzma Aisyah. Born on 15th January 2012, 3.25pm at 3.35kg, normal with lots of tear. Okay, kira dedua lah tears and tear hehe! She is worth all that pain - kena induce, pecah ketuban and crazy contractions, cucuk pain killer, two jabs to kecutkan rahim, lost count jabs to jahit the tear... Bak kata the nurse, redhakan saja ya dik. Hehe! Kena leyy.. Sudah 40 weeks in the tummy, doc didnt want to risk she terberak. And mmg pun! Lahir2 jek she berak! Close call!

Please welcome her and doakan she will grow up to be insan yg solehah dan elok sepanjang masa... Amin!











Officially On Leave!

My last check up with the gynae today and she gave me MC to rest till the big day. I am feeling big now. And extra heavy. Her estimation, the baby's about 3.1kg but she can keluar up to 3.4kg. Ohkay, that's a lot to teran. Did it with 3.78kg Ulfa so hopefully it will be smooth sailing with number four. Amin...
Doakan...

Kids are settling well in their new schools, phew! This would be the final milestone to achieve before focusing on the new baby. So I'm quite nervous excited.

A tad worried about moving office. Hopefully I will be motivated enough to get my ass to the office, pack everything nicely for the movers. Lepas tu... Whatever will b will b leyy!





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